I Gave Up My Best Friend
To please my boyfriend. Who doesn’t seem to give a shit.
“Oh Love! That Is To Be Two And To Be But One. Man And A Woman Mingled Into one Angel. It Is Heaven.” ~ The Hunchback of Notre Dame; Victor Hugo
Remember last time you made me like this? I broke up with you. …Jus Sayin.
Who has two thumbs and never likes it when you talk about your exgirlfriend?? This girl.
Me to the Scary Guy at Wal-Mart:
Me: Hi! Him:….Hi… *follows* Me: ….*Calls Dad* Him: *follows* Me: *runwalks* Him: *follows* Me: *finds Dad* Him: *follows til we’re in car* Me Now: *decides never to talk to strange guys again*
That Awkward Moment
When the friend you’ve been fighting with signs back on an hour after telling you she was going to sleep.
You Could Say That I'm Just Over-Protective...
But really I’m just extremely jealous. insanely so. So…this is your warning. *Laughs Maniacally*
I Get To See Bowling For Soup In 45 Days
I haz teh excitings.
They’re vair nice, yes? =]
Well, I'd Just Like To Point Out
That I’m Not The Only One Who Messed Up Here.
Maybe She's Right
Maybe I am a terrible person.
Sometimes I Hope...
Sometimes I secretly hope a giant gaping hole will unclench it’s jaws and swallow me. I hope I’ll fall for years through the earth, past the clouds, by the heavens, and then land right back where I was before. Then, I’ll be older, wiser and I’ll know. What will I know? I don’t know… But I’ll know when I do.
So I guess I’m going…. And now I need to find a guy to go with who will actually make me enjoy the night. And then I have to tell Mike about him.. This will be fun…
Pretty Please, With Sugar On Top:
Let it die.
Get it??!! Do you get it!!?? Cause the Bible is fiction!! YOU’RE SO FUNNY! While you’re at it, you can talk about the falsities of the Qur’an, the Torah, the Tripitaka, Bhagavada-Gita, Guru Granth Sahib, and the Tao-te-Ching! Oh wait… you were just trying to be offensive to Christians. That’s original. I can’t stop laughing.